


Skies Are Grey, Stars Still Shine

by wakeupstiles



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/F, Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, Post S3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 00:56:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8946748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wakeupstiles/pseuds/wakeupstiles
Summary: They stood there as the sun melted into the trees, leaving them cloaked in a bittersweet darkness. Alone. Alone. Alone. They weren’t alone.





	

**Author's Note:**

> im v rusty so i hope this doesn't suck lmfao

Two weeks after the destruction of the City of Light, she found herself standing in the entrance of Polis. It was a place she never expected to be, a place she never wanted to go, around people she never wanted to see. But she was there for _her;_ she was there to bring her home. At least, that’s what she told herself.

Her Trigedasleng was weak but she knew enough to ask _Where is Octavia of the Tree People?_

A woman who wouldn’t make eye contact with her pointed Raven in the direction of the woods off to the left of the city. Others moved to the side as the brunette walked off the gravel path and into the dense woods. She was hoping the woman hadn’t pointed her into a trap, though in the back of her mind she secretly wished she had. Maybe it would be quick. Maybe she wouldn’t feel anything. Maybe—

_No._

She was in Polis to find Octavia, not to die. Death could keep waiting, like it’d been doing since she’d arrived on the ground.

She found the girl deep in the trees, swinging two machetes into wooden dummies, kicking and jabbing and slashing. How long had it actually been since Raven had seen Octavia? Long enough, she concluded, because looking at the girl now, she looked so much older than seventeen. This new world had aged her, hardened her; the ground had taken all the brightness inside of her and turned it into a black hole.

But she was still beautiful. Long and agile, she was as beautiful as she was the first day Raven laid eyes on her. But now that beauty was dangerous and it made Raven see her for the warrior that she was. The person that she’d always been: lonely, lovely, lethal.

“What are you doing here?” Octavia suddenly asked, not halting from her training. Though Raven doubted she was training anymore; she just needed to hit something, she just needed to not feel. Raven understood that.

“I came to bring you home.” Raven said, leaning her hip on the tree beside her and crossing her arms.

Octavia snorted, swinging her machete down on the head of a dummy. “Arkadia isn’t my home.” There was a growl in her voice that she didn’t let out. A growl and a scream. Raven could see it straining in her throat, trying to claw its way out. She wondered if Octavia had stopped crying. Raven still cried.

Raven shifted her eyes to the orange and pink sky, ignoring the stinging in her nose and the watering of her eyes. She waited a few minutes to speak in fear of her voice cracking from the sobs she was straining to keep in. Finally, she said, “Arkadia isn’t the same without you.” Raven’s voice was small and she hated herself for it, but she hoped that if Octavia heard the need in her voice then she would _listen._

“I’m never going back.” Raven assumed she hadn’t noticed how she was breaking. Just standing there, watching her, Raven felt like she was going to fall apart. She was unstable in Arkadia, unstable in a way that she didn’t know what she was going to do if she didn’t get out, if she wasn’t able to breathe on her own without someone looking over her shoulder every two seconds. But now she was unstable in a different way; in a way that she wanted to fall to her knees, dig her fingers in the soft dirt, and scream until her throat was raw.

Raven shifted her eyes back to Octavia, who was now flipping her blades in the air, her back still to her. “Then I’ll stay.”

Octavia stopped mid-toss and finally turned to Raven. She expected her face to be pinched, but instead it was thoughtful. “Why would you do that?” She asked, her voice soft. Finally, _finally_ she was seeing her, and finally, _finally_ Raven could breathe. “You hate being around my people.”

Raven uncrossed her arms, letting them fall loosely at her sides. “I would stay. For you.” She said sincerely.

“Why?” Octavia nearly choked, her blue eyes glistening in the dwindling light of the sun.

“Because you don’t need to be alone.” Octavia opened her mouth to protest, but Raven continued, eyes pleading, “Because I _can’t_ be alone. And I _am_ alone.” Her eyes were watering again, but this time she wouldn’t fight the tears if they came.

Octavia was silent for a few seconds, her head to the side deep in thought. She walked until she closed the gap between herself and Raven. “I only have one bed.” She stated, her bright eyes locked with Raven’s dark ones.

The corners of Raven’s lips quirked up. “I don’t care.” She laughed breathlessly, relief washing through her like a calm wave.

And then suddenly, Octavia flung her arms around Raven and pulled her against her chest tightly. Raven, taken aback by the gesture, slowly wrapped her arms around Octavia, squeezing just as tightly. “Maybe you can convince Indra to let you set up power around the city.” Octavia said into her hair.

Raven chuckled into Octavia’s shirt. “I doubt she’d go for that.”

And they stood there as the sun melted into the trees, leaving them cloaked in a bittersweet darkness.

_Alone. Alone. Alone._

They weren’t alone.

All this time, fragile and damaged, but they weren’t alone.

 

 

“The skies are grey, Raven.” Octavia mumbled to her one night as they sat on the roof of their home. The sun was setting, everything was calm around them; the bustling city quiet, the people settling in for the cold winter night that lay ahead. “They’re always grey.” She went on, bringing the open flask to her lips and gulping down the bitter liquid. “I don’t think I’ll ever see color again. Lincoln brought color into my world. Now he’s gone and everything has faded into a dull, ugly grey.” She passed Raven the flask, who gratefully took it and swallowed as much of the alcohol she could before her throat felt like it was on fire.

Minutes passed before Raven said, her voice raspy from the drink, “The stars still shine.” From the corner of her eye she could see Octavia give her a side-ways look, her brows furrowed in confusion. Exhaling deeply through her nose, Raven explained, “After Finn died, everything was hazy. The sun wasn’t as bright. The sky wasn’t as blue. The grass wasn’t as green.” Her voice trailed off, remembering the boy she loved, her first love. Raven tilted her head up to the darkening sky, a sad smile tugging at her lips. “But then I met Gina, and everything started to brighten again.” She felt a sob crawling up her throat but she pushed it back down. She loved Gina. She wasn’t in love with her, not yet, but she could have been had she been given the chance. “After she died I thought I’d never see the world the way that I was meant to. That night, though, I was outside and I looked up at the sky…and the stars were still shining. They were shining. They were always shining. Through everything, their light never went out.” Raven turned to Octavia and asked, “Do you know what that means? Do you know what that tells me?”

“What?” Octavia asked, her voice a whisper.

“That there’s hope.” Raven answered.

“You still have hope after everything that’s happened? After everything you’ve been through?” The girl asked skeptically, as if it was such a taboo thought, as if it was impossible for people them.

Raven nodded, then looked back to the sky, feeling the warmth of the stars encompass her like a thick blanket. “If I don’t have hope then what am I left with? A dark sky and a dark world. And I don’t want to live in darkness. It’s lonely.”

Octavia didn’t know when she’d moved closer to Raven, and Raven couldn’t remember how their hands became locked, but neither of them said a word as they sat on that roof and counted the stars. Because there was Raven and there was Octavia and the rest of the world didn’t matter.

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know what this was. i was listening to sleeping at last and it just put me in the mood idk. i hope y'all liked it, regardless.


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